Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
NPR'S FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR
INDIE BESTSELLER
GOODREADS CHOICE AWARD WINNER: BEST MEMOIR & AUTOBIOGRAPHY
A laugh-and-cry-out-loud memoir from the beloved star of Netflix’s Queer Eye, Jonathan Van Ness
Who gave Jonathan Van Ness permission to be the radiant human he is today? No one, honey.
The truth is, it hasn’t always been gorgeous for this beacon of positivity and joy.
Before he stole our hearts as the grooming and self-care expert on Netflix’s hit show Queer Eye, Jonathan was growing up in a small Midwestern town that didn’t understand why he was so…over the top. From choreographed carpet figure skating routines to the unavoidable fact that he was Just. So. Gay., Jonathan was an easy target and endured years of judgement, ridicule and trauma—yet none of it crushed his uniquely effervescent spirit.
Over the Top uncovers the pain and passion it took to end up becoming the model of self-love and acceptance that Jonathan is today. In this revelatory, raw, and rambunctious memoir, Jonathan shares never-before-told secrets and reveals sides of himself that the public has never seen. JVN fans may think they know the man behind the stiletto heels, the crop tops, and the iconic sayings, but there’s much more to him than meets the Queer Eye.
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll come away knowing that no matter how broken or lost you may be, you’re a Kelly Clarkson song, you’re strong, and you’ve got this.
Reviews (178)
Completely Relatable and Beautiful
I preordered this book and received it this afternoon. After I put my babies to bed I sat down and read this in one shot. Yes, it’s that interesting. Let me start by saying when I first started watching Queer Eye I did not like Jonathan. He was just too much. He was loud, bold, and invaded personal space. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. The more I watched and learned from each episode the more I realized I wasn’t being my authentic self. I became a shell of who I once was. A loud, bold, invading people’s person space, fierce woman. I couldn’t watch JVN because he was who I wanted to be, yet didn’t realize. When this self awareness clicked I became a huge fan and supporter. I knew I had to buy his book. I had a misconception that this was going to be a fun, light, happy for lucky book as JVN is often presented as. My sister informed me that there was some thick subjects in it. I tend not to read things that could trigger me. I was tempted to not read this book, but when I read the sensitivity warning I was so thankful! I wanted to include a photo of the warning so if you too are worried about this you can see what it says. Any sensitive matter was gracefully and tactfully done. I’m really appreciative that JVN took this approach and was aware that his book could harm others if it wasn’t handled properly. How JVN approached every. Single. Topic. Was so well done and empathic to his readers. This book isn’t just for one “type” of person it’s really a relatable book for everyone. It’s a book that celebrates who you are and also teaches you to forgive yourself. If you’re like me and thought that book was going to be light, fluffy, and funny, then you’ll be in for a surprise. Yet, it’s a great surprise. JVN peels himself back layer by layer in each chapter until he gets to the core. As he put it in the book, “a perfectly imperfect mess”. So perfect that it made me love him more. Yes JVN, I love you even though you've shown the other sides to yourself. I love the cover of the book and the script is nice and large. The one thing that would really have put this book “over the top” would be personal photos. The Bill Clinton report was sweet, but I would’ve loved to see some family photos. Maybe next time? Overall, this book was great! I can’t remember the last time I sat and read a book all the way through in one go. This book leaves you wanting more and I look forward to reading about the next chapterS of JVNs life in the future. I highly recommend this book!
Yas Queen! Carpet figure skate yourself to gorge!
You cannot go through this book without listening to JVN reading it through the Audible version. After I found out that he was the narrator, I just had to buy it in that format. JVN reading his life story with all his quirks and emphasis, his pizzazz and snaps makes this story, HIS story so much more meaningful. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll see yourself in his words, his life experiences, his choices, his mistakes. At the end, you’ll love him even more and will learn to love yourself once and for all. So what are you waiting for hunty, get it Natalia!
Gorgeous
I read this book in one sitting. Insightful, humorous, witty, shocking and poignant. I love Jonathan Van Ness more now than I did yesterday, and that's saying something because I really freaking loved him yesterday. This book is surprisingly relatable and just seriously good. Read it.
Wowza
I could not put this book down amidst a grueling grad school schedule working on my doctorate. It is so honest, raw, and brave. JVN has been through it... my gosh. Working in the medical field I think this book sheds incredible light on the stigma surrounding HIV, change comes from knowledge, girl say it "LOUDER" for those in the back! I am not fan of autobiographies but JVN is so lovable that I pre-ordered his book to give my brain a break. So glad I did, a fantastic read. Congratulations JVN this book is something to be very proud of, thank you for sharing.
Poorly written celebrity nonsense
So far I have read 66 pages with great difficulty and skipped through many boring long winded sentences, of which there are too many. Will I finish it? Maybe I will finish it and skim through it on my next long flight. I really do not recommend this book and please don’t waste your money on a very poorly written book. *****A couple of days later and after reading some more pages I have decided I cannot either waste my time nor my brain on a book that was hastily written by a celebrity in order to make both the publisher and writer richer. This is the work of a middle school student and not a fully grown man.
Take the difficult, and make it gorgeous.
As per usual, JVN is a gorgeous breath of fresh air: a genuinely good person who shares his highs and his lows to bring us closer together. He was already an icon and an inspiration on Queer Eye, and now he has taken that miles further by inviting us into a very human story as well as raising awareness that you can live a healthy, happy, full life with HIV! I received it the day it was released, couldn't put it down, and finished it within 24 hours!
He Gave Himself, and Us, Permission
It’s a lifelong process for most people to be honest with themselves about who they are and be appreciative of all that entails. So the courage it takes to open yourself up to the entire world about that journey and expose your truest self is immeasurable. It takes a very brave and strong individual. Especially when that person has already had the opportunity to share a version of themselves with the world and it’s an image that’s almost untouchable in its perfection. Courage is Jonathan Van Ness’s specialty. It would have been extremely easy for Van Ness to write a very different memoir. He could have focused on his highest points and skipped the lowest entirely. His own personality and determination has created a lot of happiness and success and this book could have gone into detail on that and nobody would have complained or batted an eye. Van Ness opens up about his childhood abuse by another boy; his close relationship with his mother; experiencing grief and loss of beloved family members; his struggle with addiction; his mistreatment of himself and others; and his failures. He uses his own trials and tribulations to help others be ok with themselves and kind with themselves. A person is beautiful because of their entire package. Knowing Van Ness’ whole story makes him shine all the brighter. He also tells us about his vivid imagination and creative propensity. He tells stories that demonstrate his resilience and perseverance. He sets his mind to things that nobody gave him permission to set his mind to and he achieves them. Time and time again. Yes, it can be hard along the way, but he doesn’t give up. He becomes a star year-round cheerleader at his school, and he rides that into graduating early and getting accepted to a college cheer program. He pivots again and goes back to an early childhood dream of being a hair stylist, which he is stunning at. While he has a more natural talent for color, he puts in the work and training and observation to become equally as good at cut and across all hair textures. He moves back and forth across the country as many times as he needs to. He makes it in LA and NYC and eventually he finds his way into show business and Queer Eye. He becomes an adult and advocates for himself and others and wills his dreams into existence. I would recommend anyone pick up this book, even if they are not already familiar with Jonathan Van Ness and his body of work. It is a class in empathy and understanding and a road map to self-love and self-soothing that it’s a relief to see especially in the age of Instagram where we mostly see one side of a person and not their dynamic form. FIND MORE OF MY REVIEWS AT: lettersabound.com THANK YOU!
Shipping may damage book.
Would never give less than 5 stars to JVN for any reason but this book arrived with a torn dust jacket. Disappointed the cover is not as perfect as JVN.
Honest, powerful message of self-acceptance
JVN tells his story in a rambling, sometimes slightly uneven way, but I not only really enjoyed this, I got a lot out of it on a personal level, in a serious kind of way. He is, of course, OTT AF in all the ways, what else? And irrepressibly loquacious, endearingly goofy, often hilarious, gloriously queer & nonbinary, and just, in every other way, unapologetically his own beautiful self. And I appreciate the way he doesn't present a curated version of himself here, "the sweetheart of Queereye", but reveals himself very much "warts and all", i.e., as a human being with weaknesses & flaws, who has had dark times, who lives with the effects of trauma and a chronic physical condition, who has made mistakes; as someone who has been and will continue to be a mess at times - as will we all. And that's not only brave. It makes it all the more powerful, his message of self-acceptance as embodied by this book. He really, *really* gets it about that. Lots of his story resonated, though my life on the face of it has been nothing like his. But that's kinda the thing with resonance, it's not the specific details that matter. I think this is my favorite quote: "I found a lot of my healing when I realized my suffering didn't undo my joy." That is, wow, yeah, *such* an important truth and one not easily arrived at. You can read or think and even believe words like that, and still not really get it. Until you do. And then it's life changing. The dedication of this book makes a perfect recc: "Imperfection is beautiful. To anyone who has ever felt broken beyond repair, this is for you. If you've ever been excluded or told you were not enough, know that you are enough, and beautifully complete."
Sadly, I Couldn't Bring Myself to Like This Book
Two things to know to understand why I read this book: first, my wife and I were big fans of the original Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Though I’m not as big a fan of this new version, I was interested in it. Second, I was born and raised in Quincy, Illinois. Because of that, I have always supported hometown people when I can. The writer James B. Stewart and the actors Mary Astor, John Anderson, and Roy Brocksmith all have Quincy roots, for example, as does Jonathan van Ness. I wanted to be a supporter of van Ness’ book much as I am of Stewart’s. Unfortunately, having read it, I found I couldn’t be. Given the way he talks down Quincy, it would have been difficult for me to give this book highest marks. I lived there during the same period he did—I would’ve been a teacher at the Catholic high school while he was at the public one—but our views of a place admittedly provincial and conservative are widely different. I, too, longed to live somewhere else and moved away. On the other hand, I love the place and am grateful for the ideals instilled in me while I lived there, as much as I may reject some of them now. Still, I could have overlooked this if the book would simply be a better one. I find his passive-aggressiveness and constant change in tone to be tiresome. I find the profanity and “hey, girl” prose to be over-the-top (which I suppose I should have expected from the title). Worst of all, however, I find it very difficult to generate any real sympathy for him. I understand that suffering sexual abuse as a child traumatized him and that he never felt accepted at home but as far as I’m concerned, his descent into drugs and sexual promiscuity lies at his own door. Despite brief lip service, he seems blissfully unaware that it is only his family’s wealth and acceptance that kept him alive long enough to be granted a second (third? fourth?) act. In the end, I found the Jonathan van Ness of this book to be a charmless brat as opposed to the vibrant character he is on TV. From what I’ve learned of him in this book, I worry that when this brief moment of fame passes it will be difficult for him to remain on an even keel. As much as I wish him success, I have concerns that he will descend once again into poor decisions once the spotlight has faded. That said, I can’t shake my natural support of a fellow Quincian. If he manages to write another book, I’ll probably read it, though I’m hoping it will be much better written than this.
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